Sadistically remorseless cynical callous cold-blooded species I hate everyone (except jack)
Okay so today was good because first lesson in lit of typing up coursework I asked miss if I could go to the toilet and she said 'of course you can' v nicely not like mr chew who would have been like 'yes you can go to the toilet INCORRECT MODAL VERB bcus indicative of ability not possibility lol top jks and then the toilet was locked so I ran downstairs to the main toilets which were flooded and I don't even want to think about what the liquid could have been and then when someone else went they must have taken a nice leisurely stroll bcus upon returning miss, the witty satirical human that she is proclaimed: where did you go to the toilet dan? in France??????????? which elicited a roar of guffaws from the class due to the hyperbolic sarcasm insinuating how long he took but it was so funny haha. Oftentimes, I envisage the moment when we are finally unburdened of our malicious German lodger whose normal speaking volume is about 20000 decibels during the day and about 60000 at night, especially past midnight when I'm trying to sleep and she's on the phone and next door to my room :):):) anyway, I dream of satirically proclaiming to her: hey, ppl are trying to sleep. IN GERMANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg I just realised this is from miranda haha miss must watch her lol
What infuriates me is that I can write all this yet I have two days to hand in my coursework and I can't even think of the pros and cons of cats vs dogs.
on a related subject matter today was bad because Idek who I am anymore. I always thought I was the emotionless, apathetic sociopathic sadist but today in form the entire table were laughing because some grotesque human being passed his driving test today and then ran over a cat. Somehow, this provoked unrelenting laughter from everyone, but I now feel a fragment of commendation for my form tutor, as somehow only he shared my contempt. The more I think of it, the more the purity increases, but never quite to that of a shard of heisenberg's crystal methamphetamine, since I will always remember our conversation in year 11:
Sir: ah so u vegan! how long?
me: few months
him: what you miss the most den fam?
me: oh...tough1 m7... gonna have to say cheesecake omg </3
him: um....................................u ok OH so were you a vege before becoming vegan?
me: oui ou
Sir: ah I tried becoming vege but capitulated after couple of weeks bcus just could be doing without bacon
this just doesn't make sense to me: at least most omnivores just love it and don't want to change, but he evidently had some moral sense but them succumbed to his primitive senses??? the lustrous desires superseded the guilt?? in some ways thats worse. But then it could explain why he is like how he is: superficially people like him, but he can be two faced an untrustworthy, perhaps maybe as just an externalisation and release his inner guilt. Also, muvvabuccka made me cry in english on monday when she so casually said 'yes the poem I will be teaching you on thursday means a lot to me bcus my mother died of cancer'. Thankfully, I was on my own in the corner of the room so no one saw me cry, but this made me so sad because throughout the years I resented her for what she did at the end of year eight, but this justifies it: this was something she has no control over; being a teacher brings ultimate control and manipulation bcus power. Idk though mentions cancer now just really kill me inside probs bcus Ive been working on a poem about lung cancer and also heisenberg <3
But anyway, as if form wasn't bad enough: the cynicism of humans was reinforced in french when everyone found it equally hilarious that a cat was killed and i was just there like: hhow?? wtf?? whats wrong with you??? do you even have a soul??? are those ginger roots????? I don't get it??????
However, I don't appreciate that from my youth I've been instilled with ethical values, since my mother, all her life wanted to be a vegetarian but was coerced to eat meat until she starved herself.
Also, tbh although I do consider myself generally devoid of emotions bar anxiety, abhorrence and contempt towards humanity, I will never be able to appreciate what its like to dismiss an animal's life as insignificant?? like perhaps its because since you've all been nurtured on salacious primitive instincts, perceiving animals as organisms for energy. Whereas, I am more evolved and can thus override the primordial desires by pursuing Veganism, no matter how much I miss cheesecake </3 loljks
I was so furious at Will for eliciting so much cold blooded humour, but upon revealing that my dog was run over by a car he exclaimed 'oh shittt', which Im pretty sure was indicative of remorse. If I could, even after two years I still wish to avenge the snowsephine, but I realise its will who won't be able to sleep tonight.
Ultimately, I've learned that all people strive for is one thing: power. owning something. bcus nothing compares to feeling truly alive in a world strife with human cynicism.
ALSO, WATCH EPISODE AFTER EPISODE OF PRISON BREAK CONSECUTIVELY BEFORE BED AND YOU WILL HAVE THE FUQEN FREQUIEST COOLEST DREAMS EVER LIKE SERIOUSLY OMFG <3
What infuriates me is that I can write all this yet I have two days to hand in my coursework and I can't even think of the pros and cons of cats vs dogs.
on a related subject matter today was bad because Idek who I am anymore. I always thought I was the emotionless, apathetic sociopathic sadist but today in form the entire table were laughing because some grotesque human being passed his driving test today and then ran over a cat. Somehow, this provoked unrelenting laughter from everyone, but I now feel a fragment of commendation for my form tutor, as somehow only he shared my contempt. The more I think of it, the more the purity increases, but never quite to that of a shard of heisenberg's crystal methamphetamine, since I will always remember our conversation in year 11:
Sir: ah so u vegan! how long?
me: few months
him: what you miss the most den fam?
me: oh...tough1 m7... gonna have to say cheesecake omg </3
him: um....................................u ok OH so were you a vege before becoming vegan?
me: oui ou
Sir: ah I tried becoming vege but capitulated after couple of weeks bcus just could be doing without bacon
this just doesn't make sense to me: at least most omnivores just love it and don't want to change, but he evidently had some moral sense but them succumbed to his primitive senses??? the lustrous desires superseded the guilt?? in some ways thats worse. But then it could explain why he is like how he is: superficially people like him, but he can be two faced an untrustworthy, perhaps maybe as just an externalisation and release his inner guilt. Also, muvvabuccka made me cry in english on monday when she so casually said 'yes the poem I will be teaching you on thursday means a lot to me bcus my mother died of cancer'. Thankfully, I was on my own in the corner of the room so no one saw me cry, but this made me so sad because throughout the years I resented her for what she did at the end of year eight, but this justifies it: this was something she has no control over; being a teacher brings ultimate control and manipulation bcus power. Idk though mentions cancer now just really kill me inside probs bcus Ive been working on a poem about lung cancer and also heisenberg <3
But anyway, as if form wasn't bad enough: the cynicism of humans was reinforced in french when everyone found it equally hilarious that a cat was killed and i was just there like: hhow?? wtf?? whats wrong with you??? do you even have a soul??? are those ginger roots????? I don't get it??????
However, I don't appreciate that from my youth I've been instilled with ethical values, since my mother, all her life wanted to be a vegetarian but was coerced to eat meat until she starved herself.
Also, tbh although I do consider myself generally devoid of emotions bar anxiety, abhorrence and contempt towards humanity, I will never be able to appreciate what its like to dismiss an animal's life as insignificant?? like perhaps its because since you've all been nurtured on salacious primitive instincts, perceiving animals as organisms for energy. Whereas, I am more evolved and can thus override the primordial desires by pursuing Veganism, no matter how much I miss cheesecake </3 loljks
I was so furious at Will for eliciting so much cold blooded humour, but upon revealing that my dog was run over by a car he exclaimed 'oh shittt', which Im pretty sure was indicative of remorse. If I could, even after two years I still wish to avenge the snowsephine, but I realise its will who won't be able to sleep tonight.
Ultimately, I've learned that all people strive for is one thing: power. owning something. bcus nothing compares to feeling truly alive in a world strife with human cynicism.
ALSO, WATCH EPISODE AFTER EPISODE OF PRISON BREAK CONSECUTIVELY BEFORE BED AND YOU WILL HAVE THE FUQEN FREQUIEST COOLEST DREAMS EVER LIKE SERIOUSLY OMFG <3
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