24th September 2011

So after moving all her things into her new house Amrine came back to say goodbye to me  at about 6pm :( after almost tripping over the mess that is my, what I call, floordrobe, we had a 20/30 minute conversation in my room consisting of reminiscing on how much we've grown since the 24th September 2011 when she first moved in when she had braces (which she finally got off last summer after SIX YEARS) and a fringe which made her look about 12 lol. She asked about which unis I'm thinking of applying for and I said Idk but Eng lit and creative writing <3<3<3 Honestly my dream is going to uni in london and perhaps spending a year abroad in america or somewhere but as long as I'm relatively far away from the abhorrence of northampton I should be okay. We were looking at courses in 'Enrichment' lol deceiving subject name I feel no more or less enriched but it is a benevolently banterous beginning to the week on a monday <3 anyway Bath Spa looks interesting bcus course consists of gothic literature, and if you know me I live for southern gothic bildungsroman novels (or at least finding out tkam was actually a prequel and that Go Set a Watchman is a 'sequel' to the 'prequel'). Although my form tutor can be mean to me since we do share a irrepressible love of literature, I asked him if he was excited for 'the mockingbird sequel'!!! He replied 'moderately'; he doesn't have high hopes. Subsequently, he began parring off Harper Lee, mocking her 'manic' hair cut. Although I believe she is unequivocally the most gifted human ever to live, one must agree she hasn't aged particularly well. Lol this will become extremely hypocritical when I'm 88 and in denial of my hair loss and just have about three hairs that are each about three metres long lol. Not to mention that my nose will have encapsulated and devoured half my head. But the beauty of my eyelatches will perpetually permeate <3 that is true beauty <3 lol jks kk

Anyway Amrine gave me three hugs and thanked me for the card/ kinder eggs. May not be the best gift after three years but bre sentimental because when she first moved in Deep and I pretended we worshiped them and almost convinced her lol. It's moments like these I doubt my existence: why am I even a vegan when I can still remember what chocolate and cheesecake and nutella and cheese and peanut butter and bananas on toast tasted like <3

We spoke about singapore and wtaf I'm gonna even eat there and how patients at st andrews swallow spoons and how she's just working there atm part time to get experience there and then she is planning on returning back up t' north and apply for a full time job there. Also she said she will make impromptu visits!! and I actually told her I'll miss her :((:(:( 

This is someone who's known me since I was year nine lord raf raf 1213. I wish I could just go back to then so so bad. 2011/2012 was definitely the most pivotal year of my life; I'd live every day differently :-(. But I miss it so much. I miss my bieber hair; I miss my queen snowsephine and her offspring (second batch): Sasha, Kumara, Charlie, and River. I miss the innocence :-(. If my life were a post modern gothic bildungsroman, this would be the era depicting my loss of innocence. 

Saying 'bi' is the saddest thing but almost glad I don't have an older bro/ sis now bcus can't imagine what it would be like saying bi??? Probs wouldn't be as sad but idk I'll never know. 

I managed to suppress the tears until she closed my door and left the keys for the final time :-(
Then I made dinner and watched the first ep of prison break bcus still suffering from the abhorrent repercussions of braking bad deprivation. <3


    

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