Power

So going to Singapore bcus Aunt is visiting her boyf who lives there and it's Chinese New Year. So on Friday after a day of bathos I was so sad, so disillusioned; when I got home, even after an empowing walk to ARTPOP, ((however not as usual as I had listened to part one of the album which is more about love, whereas part two is so much better bcus sassier (and it explores less themes such as the use and abuse of recreational drugs when lady gaga escaped to Amsterdam and died her hair brown thus developing her alter ego: MJH so that she could be unrecognisable. But Holland is kind of the core of EDM thus???? But I guess she wasn't yet known for it at the time??))) but, filled with abhorrence of disenchantment  I collapsed in my bed and ate about half a jar of peanut butter whilst watching prison break. Too many thoughts to nap so I waited until it was dark and turned off all the nights and revisited an old friend: my piano. It's only been a few months since our last encounter yet somehow it just feels so much longer. It was sad learning my fingertips have lost their delicate touch and press so much more awkwardly; I just feel an inoperable sense of disjointed attachment, such unnatural. 

Then it made me think: if you're going to coerce your seven year old child to develop a musical ability, then why the piano???? Why not singing???? PeaK. But I do love my clarinet though <3 

So my dad came to pick me up and my mother had told her of the abhorrence of the lodgers, which made me slightly less sad because I didn't want to have to tell him bcus he's friends with her, but at least now he knows to see behind the masquerade of mendacity. 

So we set off to London and I was still feeling v poignant bcus: missing people and the stress of la vie and the life changing choices I have to make and my powerlessness over people, and wasn't rlly in the mood for a 14 hour flight - to such an extent even though it was dark and late night car journey (ultimate joy) I still felt despair. But after listening to 'fashion' I asked my dad what my mother had told him, and we had a v deep not so superficial conversation which was insightful bcus don't usually talk about things like that (bar u guys ofc) and he was v kind and said he would love for me to live with him during the week. 

So we were going to London to stay at grandparents house bcus they live v close to airport but were on holidai. But upon arrival key didn't work \|/ so we went to their friend's house to see if they had a key but they didn't. However, they had a beautiful peacock motif all over their house!!! Literally they had like vases of peacock feathers and they even had a peacock but it wasn't living hopefully which I could infer due to the fact that it wasn't moving. But with hindsight, one begins to question the ethics of this almost morbid infatuation, however it was an unequivocally insightful experience 😊

Airport was extremely trepidatious: because the alarms beeped when I walked through the explosives detector frame, I had a v intimate search by the guy, like seripously this was grotesquely superfluous - not only did he caress and press v hardly yet equally delicately at certain times, but he even had a feel through my hair????? Like wtf I know it's long but I'm not hiding a bomb in there?????

Also almost had a heart attack (you make me glohohohooooooowhowhoe) on the plane: was exhausted from not being able to sleep that when the lady came to collect my food I just handed her the whole tray. 30 seconds later I was just emptying my entire bag like DAD HELP NO NO NO JUST LEFT MY RETAINERS ON THE TRAY and he was like 'OK go and tell them I'll look here' so I went and was like 'HI pls so sorry think I left something on my tray' so he got the lady I gave it too to take out all the trays from each rack and put it back one by one. Thankfully, after about a minute of taking them out and replacing them as I shook my head to indicate negatory, I saw the benevolent white case gleam like the metallic calcium carbonate CA2+ mineral trace chemical nutrient build up on my retainers :'). Also I would have got a B in gcse chemistry if I hadn't of failed coursework due to lack of teacher (both physically and figuratively).  

But anyway LOOOK WHAT THEY HAD!!! 

Season 7 of friends!!! Was planning on doing coursework but they also had Cheek to cheek live and Gone Girl which was okay but they got the antagonist' hair COMPLETELY wrong which annoyed be because i felt it was a v symbolic symbol in the book. Did manage to do a bit of lit coursework but didn't do much else other than listen to music and be in awe watching the flight path at how we were elevated above so many beautiful places: Amsterdam, Moscow, India, etc.