Snowprints in the Sand

 "and I  most jocund, apt and willingly ~ to do you rest ~ a thousand deaths would die..." • Viola, Twelfth Night This is illicit beauty and it breaks me also I'm in Hong Kong and it's pretty af 💮💮💮 so it's been three weeks since the day that changed everything and I'm still fearful that I hallucinated everything and to refute the truth I ensnared myself in a perpetual limbo of reveries and mendacity before one divulges I finally experienced catharsis in its most powerful form!!!! I relinquished myself of the thing I love the most but also loathe the most  Power Absolution Retribution sorry lana I love you but fuck money power and glory absolute retribution is where I'm at I've overcome my addiction to physical pain but I fear displacement with psychological torture and I realised: the cure will only ever be an illusive dream locked behind the most opacious of facades  with subjugation to the powerlessness, choice is conferred I can concede; I can f...

forgive me mother for one has transgressed so today I learnt why the mother forbids me from entering the park post sunset but she's out with michael right now even though she knows the truth about him now so she brought it on herself really ok so its 10pm and i just returned from a cathartic but scary nightwalk with the summer and it was going well but when I released her from the clutch of her lead she thought it signified the severance of our physical bond alas basked in the crescent of the moonlit summer air, her white fur absorbing the whiter energy of moonlights as her colourless paws were trapped by the soulless grass so I sat with her for a while, until her incandescent white fur charged with the energy of a thousand moonbeams I reattached the collar of obedience as we fell deeper into the dark park night, the air growing thicker and my vision becoming increasingly equivocated as nightfall descended but beyond the blurry barriers of the oxygenic viscosity, what ...

I'm finally tumblr hipster goals I just made a batch of gluten free cookies + filter coffee and finished the girl on the train which the morrision bequeathed to me for being voted class shakespeare for english language <3 for once I feel confident enough to repeal the facade of varnish and show you guys my naked keratin because I've learnt I have nothing to hide If you want to try the g free v life here's the cookie recipe: buckwheat flour oat flower flaxseeds tahini or peanut butter coconut margerine rice milk rice flour chocolate (video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09lr3o4VNXc so if there's one thing I've learnt since my last blog update its that there is no greater euphoria than psychic clarity but it took me until now to realise my unshed tears from all these years of repression have veiled my vision and all I want is a lucid life free of uncertainty but I just had my final session with my counsellor today and I'm so sad because she...

DRUNK AF BiTCHES My name is rafadoodlies and I remember everything so get this on thursday my mum disappeared so my dad reported her as a missing human to the police!! The police arrived to interrogate but I had an alibi so I was exonerated thankfully <3 I was on my own and I realised I'm 18????? I can literally just go out and buy alcohol??? what better cheap thrill escapade for when your mother disappears??? So I went and bought an alcohol and as the lady calculated my age from my ID I envisioned a whole series of trials and mistrials and prison cells and prison breaks resulting in my deathless demise behind the bars of solitude and unapologetic indifference but everything changes when I see this affectionless psychopath imprisoned for slaughtering all the vegans and he ensnares me in a trance of delirium and desire as I have to make the ultimate sacrifice that is my life alas I channelled this wasted anxious energy into a v poor application of lipstick if my make...

I've come to the conclusion that my brain is an insatiable psychoslut before I start happy birthday to one of my most loyal followers jacob you're the best!! <3 Sunday was a v sad day because my dad called me and said 'Raf I need to come over and talk to you about something in person' and I said 'okay come over now but wHAT HAVE I DONE????' and he said I'm not in trouble but he'd rather speak in person Whilst I waited in fear during the twenty minutes between the end of the call and his arrival I sliced up a salad for phoeb but he was dark and curled up with his beard pressed on the floor of his vivarium so I left a few watercress leaves in his bowl and turned off his lights so he could sleep he must think I'm a God bc to him I have the power to transform day into night with the flick of a switch but then religion is a social construct and as you all know phoeb is the epitome of not falling into the fallacy of social conditioning because y...

FAV LINE FROM MOCKINGJAY spoken by no other than donald trump or was he called president snow in the books I think I struggle to remember For the first time in my existence I think I've accepted that this is the end hold your breath and count to ten feel the earth move and then feel my heart burst agaiyyyn For the final week of school the dress code was glamorised like a phoenix reborn amidst the fires of its own feathers and the ashes of its former incarnation Monday we had to dress as a friend (gender bound sadly so no social contraventions allowed) i thought if I channel the dark side of my typical attire and minimise the androgyny of my typical aesthetic I'm basically Kush??? and he pretty much thought the same bc we both have a wine coloured suit so all I had to do was swap my heels for chelsea boots and lift the veil of varnish that usually eclipses my nails Tuesday Thankfully one was given the chance to reverse the abhorrent masculinisation bc we had to ...