Twilight Euphoria

DRUNK AF BiTCHES

My name is rafadoodlies
and I remember
everything

so get this on thursday my mum disappeared so my dad reported her as a missing human to the police!! The police arrived to interrogate but I had an alibi so I was exonerated thankfully <3

I was on my own and I realised I'm 18????? I can literally just go out and buy alcohol??? what better cheap thrill escapade for when your mother disappears??? So I went and bought an alcohol and as the lady calculated my age from my ID I envisioned a whole series of trials and mistrials and prison cells and prison breaks resulting in my deathless demise behind the bars of solitude and unapologetic indifference

but everything changes when I see this affectionless psychopath imprisoned for slaughtering all the vegans and he ensnares me in a trance of delirium and desire as I have to make the ultimate sacrifice that is my life

alas I channelled this wasted anxious energy into a v poor application of lipstick
if my makeup was an AQA paper I'd be disqualified for writing outside the box the most mortal of the rubric infringements

so I took the summer on a drunken walk and I crossed paths with the clinton who was also walking her dog!!! <3 she asked how old the summer was and I said she was six but when we got to the park the bitch decides to take a nap in the middle of a literal marathon????

I couldn't figure out how to stimulate the walking but eventually she did the qt <3

then I fREAQED out bc got a phone call from the police telling me to come home bc he has my mother!! Trust ur mam to go missing and return when ur drunk af

ok so two weeks ago today it was georgerai's birthday!! one arrived at cordys at 9:30 and ascended the stairs to found the georgerai <3 then amber and charlotte appeared and I hugged amber first and then charlotte and she said 'let's see the nails' so I showed her my ombre bad girls

char said they were like volcanos and also we need to get our nails done together so when exams are over our claws are gonna be weapons so watch out

I told Shakaib I wasn't gonna drink bc too scared of the bar but then Amber came over with a Jagerbomb and asked if I wanted it but I feared it wasn't vegan so she asked at the bar <3 they said they didn't know but prob yes thus I tried it anyway but after a few tentative sips I let her have the rest but it was pretty good it tasted v fructiferous

georgerai and I created a literal solar eclipse with my lunar veil

I felt for a second I could unleash my inner darkness so fearlessly

until I realised the radiance of georgerai's forehead is irrepressible

he's too powerful even for my medusa tenebrosity

After like an hour or two we went off to Revolutions which is probably the classiest bar I've ever been to!! As we were leaving charlotte said she didn't want to be cold so I offered her my hairs but we linked arms instead as we faced the icy twilight shadows of the night

we spoke of how long its been since oh wonder and how pretty and gothic northampton is at night and how bars are so much better than nightclubs

after being ID'd I stood at the bar until georgerai beckoned me over to the table and he said to me "Raf do you want a drink?"

so we went to the bar and he ordered two vodka and lemonades and told me he was v happy I'd come out bc night made and whilst waiting for the drinks I took some v surreptitious v candid selfies on georgerai's phone whilst he was gone

the bartender gave us the drinks but I'm pretty sure it was just ice and nail varnish remover??????

Georgerai wasn't feeling the vodka and lemonade but I was loving it lol and I was so honoured georgerai bought me my first ever drink <3

I think this was the most surreal moment of my existence as I suddenly felt so good and happy and as if unburdened of the gravity that had kept me under its depressive spell all my life and I was standing the whole time but my arms and head kind of collapsed onto the bar but I felt this feeling of pseudo-psychoweightless prowess (where is my patent I literally just invented a psychological phenomenon concept thing) so I adjusted to the equivocal perspicacity of my new mind and rose like a bird set free

I was a self aware butterfly who had just broken free of my chrysalis and I saw myself for my beauty after living so long as a wretched caterpillar who durst not tread the leaf on which the butterfly had brushed against fearing forever that the closer it stepped, the further it fell from its metamorphic ability to one day harness the unrestrained power and freedom of fragility and beauty

The rush of dopamine had physical manifestations as I could not suppress the smile so I started chewing the plastic straw thing to mix the drink. BUT I couldn't control all this emotion and elation and the lady at the bar saw me looking super waved and asked 'are you alright???'

So I flashed a closed mouthed smile and nodded and fluttered my eyelids like some fragmentary butterfly wings and smiled some more whilst covered my mouth in case people noticed because my lips were stretching like half way across my face/ the bar/ ntown

Andrea caught a glimpse of me falling to pieces as I fell through the mesh wire threshold of reality and reverie
she asked me if I was okay but all I could say was 'no'

She came over to me and she was the first I confided in when I said 'I think I'm drunk?????'
Watching me drown throughout the levels of consciousness I think she asked if I drink a lot but then it became very apparent that my blood was untainted by ethanol, uncorrupted by alcohol, untouched by insobriety

until now

I managed to pull myself together and stand but I couldn't stay still lol

I must have still been smiling way too much bc Andrea told me I have really nice teeth <3!!! If the alcohol hadn't already given me enough of a rush this made me so happy I was almost crying (or dying of dopamine overdose))

So I reciprocated the complement and as I walked over to her I asked if she'd seen Harry's new hairs and I think we were both sad but hopeful he would regrow bcus how does a harry go from full on grunge icon to year 11 sweg and u don't even cry tell me how

i asked if we could have a snapchat and thus began my obsession

also why is no one talking about Justin??? I miss his dreads :((

Amber came and I told her I was drunk and she called charlotte over to comfort me with a hug I think and she gave me some wise words of advice as the remaining fragments of innocence had been slayed by the spirit of the citric vodka

Then I managed to stumble my way across the bar to this v cute square area with trees and colourful christmas lights illuminating all and I'm pretty sure it was outside but there were definitely windows also???? idk does alcohol intersperse outside with inside???

ok so georgerai was like RAF Im so happy you're drunk!!!! apparently drunk me has a compulsive desire to capture selfies so here is a snapshot of the freshly vodka infused rafadoodle and geogerai <3

we need a ship name maybe gdoodlerai???? rafoeogerai??? ok idk :/

We were going to NBs but georgerai was like 'Raf you have to pretend to be sober because they won't let you in if you're drunk' so I practised sobriety but only ever managed about three seconds before succumbing to the haws

I was falling further away from sobriety and gravity every second but georgerai was there to guide me down the stairs and once we'd crossed the road I was so exhilarated but the struggle to stand was strong so I clung to georgerai's shoulders like a falling chameleon - or perhaps yet a fallen one - fresh from the foliage of the amazon rainforest

betrayed by the leaves it believed would lead the pathway to salvation

NOT THAT YOU WOULD EVERY BETRAY ME GEORGERAI I was just a desperate clawless chameleon struggling to blend as you can see by my nails my chameleon colour changing ability had malfunctioned into a shadow of lustrous tenebrosity

I gave georgerai my phone (I literally didn't even want it back ever except to take selfies) as he helped me retrieve my ID from the vortex of my pocket and I asked how drunk he was and he told me 10/10

he asked if I wanted to wait for charlotte or if we should just go and I wanted to wait for her but she told us to just go I think so I took a breath and let the oxygenic chill cloud my toxicity and bypass the bouncer

so georgerai was like if sia comes on we're gonna literally FREAQ to the music and cheap thrills started playing!!! but we'd lost each other so I literally ran around the whole club trying to find him and I tried calling him lol why did I think a nightclub is a good place to have a phone call ??? but we were reunited on the dance floor and it was like the sisi god brought us together when we needed it most and for the first time I truly felt the cheap thrill

Later when we were super drunk we needed the toilet but I was scared bc as I learnt from the pub crawl its where Im most vulnerable to unsolicited so georgerai accompanied and he was like its funny because its my birthday was playing and it actually is my birthday!!!! and I was super hyped and I was just like I know!!! I so needed the toilet but it was legit your birthday and its my birthday was playing!!!!! oh drunk bonding is one of life's greatest joys <3

Pressed against the back wall of the toilet, I began to question the very nature of perception and existence and I said to georgerai 'its weird cuz like Im SO drunk but like Im so aware??? Like I know Im drunk and it feels so good but I didn't know Id know I was so drunk if ygm???

and he said 'yeah, its just like this.... euphoric high!!!'
I asked again how drunk he was and again 10/10 but when I asked how sober he was the answer was also 10/10 thus the paradox manifests

Thankfully no harassment this time but I got the funniest video of georgerai giving this guy in the toilets two pounds for being 'a legend' and singing a beautiful biblical canton together whilst I hawed and recorded

Also I disappointed like so many hetero guys who thought a was a hot girl hahaha like I was totally smashed from the vodka and these guys called me over but I didn't realise until Id walked about four meters away from them lol and they said to me in their ukranian accent 'hello excuse are you mans or are you girls?'
For a second I was thinking ???? why are those my only options ??? no I am neither mans or girls gender is a dynamic spectrum why enforce such oppressive limitations??? But all this sociopolitical fallacy stuff was too much for my vodka infused brain so I told them Im a boy and they seemed kind of intrigued by the ambiguity and said 'ah just the very long hairs and also you are very beautiful'
!!!!!!! :3 <333
then they asked for a picture with me and I said yes and ran to charlotte and said 'charlotte those guys just said I was beautiful!!!' and she said 'you are beautiful honey' and she gave me a kiss and told me to find georgerai and it was a struggle but I found him <3

The georgerai and I were equally enthralled and transfixed by the fish tanks that framed the covens in the clubs and we got like super excited over all the different fish <3 and we were just like 'omg I want that fish' but then I lost it :(
then this guy appeared opposite us taking pictures and georgerai asked him to take a snap of us and just look!!!! <3<3<3

ty for the lipstick hol


Sorry for the name  dropping but I have selfies with C-Rae, Dumbledoor, Mrs Greenaway and even Tequi but this makes me happier than all that combined <3

I know I said NBs was gross and dead but that was before I discovered the magical elixir of alcohol :3

Some highlights of NBs include discovering I have some creepy obsessive hair addiction??? I was standing at the bar totally out of it from the vodka at Revolutions and I became transfixed by holly's hairs cascading from her crown and she could see how happy and drunk I was stroking her ponytail and she was just like 'aw ly raf' so cute <3

I was equally entranced by how andrea's hairs just fell like a spiralised waterfall frozen by the ashes of the fallen curl queens and I asked how she gets her curl pattern so nice as I stroked her spirals hoping to absorb some much needed curl power

This must have been a v emotionally significant experience for me because Ive always wanted to have this conversation and it finally became reality when she told me its natural and recommended the aussie miracle oil and Boots own brand shampoo I thinq the pinq one

Still fighting for peace with the oppression of gravity and the psychic power of transcending the perpetual repression with my psychoweightlessness the Andrea told me she'd been where I was and the trick is to drink the waters between drinks and literally tY bc you prob saved me from a soul destroying hangover

Its pub crawl I was floating above the waters of sobriety watching everyone I thought I knew so well drown in the ocean of ethanol and who knew how the tables would turn when I myself allowed the venomous waves to take me down
(so many song allusions in that paragraph top band if u can spot them all)

Then when charlotte and I were dancing we were messing with each others' hairs and SHE HAS THE SOFTEST HAIRS I didn't know hairs could be so soft and I asked her how her hairs be so soft

and she leant closer to me and told me:
'its because i've hardly got any honey'
</3 heartbreak

When we were back in the room with the fishtanks charlotte started dancing on the table and georgerai said to me RAF ITS SIA!!!!!!!! And then I realised bang my head was playing!!!!!!

After helping Holly apply her lipstick in the darkness of the nightclub I asked if I could have some and we did a pretty good job considering our high alcohol toxicity but my teeth were also given some redness thanks holly

Just before we left we were outside on a table and this guy who was prob twice my age started talking to me and I was thinqing YES he thinqs I'm a girl <333 but then he asked what my name was and I was like no he's gonna realise :(( so I told him but he didn't hear me and then after a few more questions he asked if I was a lady and I said 'no' and then he said something about how skinny I am and how I have 'potential'???? but first I gotta bulk???? and it made me sad because I wish people would realise that gender is a social misconstruction because then there would be no pressure to conform to gender ideals and no fear of transgression and there would be so much less prejudice in the world because no hate towards homosexuality or feminism because they wouldn't be a thing

ok anyway he told me I am a very beautiful person and he would definitely be chatting me up if I was a lady!!! so flattered but i gotta admit I did notice my vision blurring throughout the night so maybe all he could see was a shadowy spectre of long dark waves mystery

But when he left I realised everyone had gone!!!! so I looped NBs a few times but no luck until I went to the entrance and the georgerai was there <3 so he lead me outside to charlotte and she was like 'raf you scared me so much honey' and I was like sorry this guy was trying to talk to me thinking i was a girl lol

Our final stop was Balloon and they played some good tunes but it was so squinchy!!! These girls got my hairs caught in their hands/ rings/ weaves and I turned around and watched them screaming as they tried to escape the inextricable tangles
Balloon was scary because it was like an ocean consumed by the scandalous forces of scandalousness  so would not recommend it

They turned the lights on at like 4am and holly and I were ready to hit up the boston but we'd called a taxi :{ so we were waiting outside the cash machine but I was still sparking with the vibes of the volcanic vodka euphoria and I hugged georgerai and charlotte goodbye and walked into the twilight dust of the unbroken dawn

word of the blog: psychoweightlessness
- the state of feeling able to defy gravity with your psychic power of transcending the earthly forces

hope you had the best 18th georgerai thank you so much bc I couldn't have written this blog without you <3