Snowprints in the Sand

The lumps in my midnight custard, ça me fais réflechir about the abhorrence I've experienced today. Okay so today I think I thought I had a near death experience: This man came to the house and asked if there was anyone to talk to bc he was from London and lost. Okay so I went upstairs, and since I live with five other people I'm seldom home alone.  BUT JUST WHEN I NEEDED THEM THEYD ALL GONE 😬😬😬 so I called my mum and she said DONT LET HIM IN JUST TELL HIM TO GO NEXT DOOR so I apologisé to him and did it. THEN HE RETURNED and asked to utilise the toilet; I couldn't say no. Directing him was the scariest: I feared for the summer dogglie and was so scared he might hurt her. But he was so calm so cool and I realise only in the literary world are people sadistic enough to hurt animals intentionally 🐩. After about 10 minutes my anxiety exacerbated because I couldn't hear any dripping or plopping and I was worried he was committing suicide for someone and obviously I'...

Drank two cups of green tea; the repercussions of caffeine are taking place since it's 2am and I want to sleep so bad but gotta pea and restless because adrenaline & exacerbation of anxiety 🍵 I love autumn because of the exponentially diminishing daylight displaced with increasing darkness. 🌌 Night is my favourite because I just feel so awake and alive 🌠 although one usually sleeps when it's dark which is probs why also because sleeping is like probs my favourite thing. 🌃 Dark & I have some good memories together :/) - one of my favourite times was this day 3 weeks ago when I went to see the drama lab production at school: it was 7:10 pm, thus I had to run because the performances started at 7:30 and I live over a mile away. Okay usually I am repulsed by anything remotely resembling excersise, but i must admit I enjoyed rebelling my abhorrent perceptions. I was wearing my warm red jumper which I love and loathe because it's so warm but the head hole is too small...

So this new series on BBC One started last night called 'The Missing'. Its genre is a 'Relationship thriller' about this irish guy (I think) who misplaces his son on a Holiday in France. Eight years later, he returns and there's a person reading To kill a Mockingbird in and there's lots French dialogue both subtitled and unsubtitled when they don't want to reveal plot deatails but ouaaaais bcus je comprende lol. It was actually really good - the end was so intense but fuquen netflix has robbed me of patience: I just take it for granted that I don't have to wait an agonising WEEK to resolve the suspense of the cliffhanger episode ending. Furthermore, not only is it a good series, but it also has an okay intro!!! I find the two seldom coexist á la fois. Its bre suspense because there are three narrative perspectives: 1) Eight years ago when the fam were on holiday 2) 2014 when the guy goes back to france and 3) The mother but her hair is long and dark and...

Okay so overwhelmed with fame, getting THREE FAVOURITES on an inconsequential tweet conveying that I was the only year 12 in my school, until I descover ONE THIRD OF THE CONSTITUENTS OF FEELING FAMOUS was an anti-satanist reaching out to me, trying to save me. I AM BEYOND REPENTANCE; I AM BEYOND REDEMPTION. Also today is exactly one month until my birthday and two months until Christmas!!!! ( i think ) 

Because most of year 12 had spent £300 to be cold and wet and coerced to do do a run every morning before breakfast in BuDe, the 5 or 6 sixth formers who were not doing the latter residential or work experience were expected to volunteer. However, each day consisted of a struggle to find the careers advisor to tell us what we need to do and when that failed we just had to desperately search for somewhere to 'help'. But the whole school is off timetable during enterprise week thus here is an account of the abhorrence of the struggle: Tuesday: Okay one will admit that this was a pretty trepidatious day and due to the abhorrent flood of year 10s and 11s in the concourse because of the career shops I did resort to hiding in the library toilets, applying vaseline because the Aloe Vera not only sooths burns (physically and metaphorically), but also soothes the soul. Furthermore, I listened to Donatella bcus Queen GaGa always ensures prevention of panic attacks <3  However, my love...

What infuriates me the most is when everyone loves someone and I'm just like w h y \ | / ; only I know the truth, but I can't say anything because it's better to live in oblivion than know the abhorrence of the truth.  I think I've worked quite hard - I was one mark off a D in my first exam essay. I'm finding the transition from gcse to a level extremely difficult - even worse than year 6 to year 7 and I don't appreciate being slagged off to my favourite department when I have 30 pages left and there's people who've barely even touched the book. You're supposed to be able to confidentially confide in a form tutor and respect the trust. I was almost happy because after thinking she was angry with me miss dyke was really nice to me but then the head of KS5 lit stopped me outside form this morning and made me feel like in all her 50 years of teaching a level she couldn't have even imagined this could ever happen. And I'm pretty sure I've don...

I actually hate school so much. I hate free periods bcus I'm always too tired to work and there's not even anywhere to sleep except the toilets but they get cold and accumulate paparazzi easily. (((I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me, papa paparazzi))) Since sixth form has started I haven't gone to bed before midnight (however I do nap every day after school), thus I'm constantly tired. I hate the abhorrent omnipresence of so many external people so much. (albeit there is one nice one in french). I've often considered leaving NSB but then I'd basically be in a school full of externals except twot plist: Id be an external. I miss the structure and the (lack of) people of year 11, and even though I had to do DT and Physics, I miss GCSEs so much :(( I loved all my teachers until today when no:  Okay so today in eng lit the teacher the teacher was ljke 'I'm extremely dissappointed to hear some of you haven't even read the book ...

Ok so because my hair is so beautiful but it clogs the drains I'm gonna collect it Every Monday and Thursday when I wash my hair and add it to the ball :3 hopefully the lodgers will enjoy the surreptitiously expanding matted black mass :3 on display in the bathroom. Perhaps, when it's come of age, I shall intertwine....:3  Hopefully it will exploit to them the repercussions of their actions :3:3:3

Last night I came across an article detailing the three signs of early Ebola: headaches, muscle pains (particularly shoulders and arms) and sore throat. ALL THREE OF WHICH I HAVE BEEN FEELING THE PAST FEW DAYS. My vision blurring with tears, I became overwhelmed with trepidation, thinking things: what would the people say? The pretentious people, those who continually call me a freaq every day bcus I'm butters and I don't eat butter? What song would be played at my funeral? Why isn't assisted suicide legal in Britain? Like my hero from to kill a mockingbird Madame Henry Lafayette Dubosé (she's not French but her names so amazing she might as well be), I wish to die with dignity - "beholden to nothing and nobody"...  Also today I read in the telegraph that Ebola MAY BE IN THE UK.,,.,,.,, OMINOUS FORESHADOWING?? But then I think: if I only have nineteen days or so left, I'd think people deserve to chose when to die - I'd rather know when my passing of th...

OK SO WE WENT TO SEE MIRDANA SINGS :):):):):):): so first we caught the train from Northampton and went to Euston which was amazing becuase I got to witness the presence of both of my God-twins. SIMULTANEOUSLY!! Kind of in shock for the entire journey but managed to supress. Also, because it would have been Snowsephine's sixth birthday, I drew her on the reverse of the letter I'd written for miranda. However I got her hair wrong; this was rectified with the utilisation of charlie's rubber that was obviously bought from glove world DONT DENY IT CHAZ. Why is there even a 'b' in obviously??? This subsequently triggered reminiscence of the bittersweet Spongebob episode "Rock Bottom" when poor spongebob the qt got stranded in the malevolent town of Rock Bottom, with only his glove world balloon :(. I'm pretty sure there's a special memory store in my long term memory for Spongebob episodes :3 fav quote from the epidsode: "This isn't just your o...

I manipulated the hearts and feelings of those I care about today purely to incite tension and provoke drama. AND I FEEL NO REGRET; I FEEL NO REMORSE; I FEEL NO REPENTANCE. Initially, there were ten people in our French class; today only six remain. Deserces the qt was like no :( who else is dropping out Will was like: Raf is going to lols rofl Deserces: hahahhahahahahhahhahahahhhahahhahah hahahaa haha aha ha a h /..,.,.. .. ,,s,.zx,c..,asmd .,gvm.dx,v ujm df sSERIOUSLY>><Q?>>>???! Me: *joekingly* yeah soz After trying to convince me to stay, our debate got to the point where it was too late to turn back on my word becuase I actually began to believe it... The following period we stepped into peter pauls class which is literally a meter away from deserces' and he was like RAF I FORBID U FROM QUITTING. HOW HE KNOW THIS?? This lead us to assume that French people have some sort of telepathy. This was further corroborated when I went to the toilet and wav...