NYC EPISODE 2: CARLY RAE JEPSON

Day 3 (Thursday 20th): took a stroll to central park and I was literally transfixed by this man and his bubbles and he even stopped to thank me for my donation to him. But then this tall russian lady I think came to me like 'hello can u tell me how much this is' and took out aT LEaST idk like 12 coins (maybe even 13) and I was just like
....
...
.... I've let her take all these coins out theres no stopping now so I tried but eventually broke and said Im sorry I don't know it 
like I know the names thanks to mr killer krab's obsession with his nickels/ dimes/ quarters but their values and correlating aesthetics ????????? but then we went to the Friends fountain but I was just too hot I drank so many waters and there were so many horses so we left for the Apple store and it was so pretty 

can you even beliv it 

It was like an ice cube elevator 

Then we went to Brooklyn heard this lady who legit sounded like Estelle from friends!!!

That night we went to this restaurant where the waiters are all aspiring broadway people and it was literally crazy bc the waitress would literally be serving us our drinks one handed with the microphone in the other!!! They sang some beauties such as copacobana, born this way, lay me down, and if I were a boy (literally my fav song)

Day 4 (Friday 21st): on the news it was revealed out Carly Rae Jepson would be performing in the street the following morning where little mix were!! ! ! My consciousness had finally collapsed into my dream fallen (Empire State of) mind by like 3am and awoke at 4 so we could be in the queue for 5 and it was dark but moist, and unusual interspersion, but it was raining and I listened to the glee versions of if I were a boy (if you haven't heard the glee cover of it stop reading and go on youtube and prepare to release the tears as a small sacrifice to see for the first time in your life) also I listened to don't speak (glee version) and it was crazy bc I thought of lea michelle and chris colfer walking through this same yet so dissimilar tenebrous new york and i wonder if she thinks of that and feels how different her entire perceptions of the world were before she lost her cory 

We walked through and they like blocked off the streets bc exclusive squad and the legit performance was at like 8am but she did a soundcheck at 6:30 so we g0t a cheeky leak of the songs before they were aired on the Today show.

I was so happy bc she started off with I really like you, then Call me maybe, and saved Run away with me for the end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jnp_mxJLkj0

pause at 2:44 lol I'm the black and purple poodle one x

It was so peak bc in between songs she came down and I was like right on the side by the barrier but then everyone saw her so ran to the edge as I got compressed toward the centre and watched everyone at the edges get selfies and signatures 😌 but look how close I was!!!!! 

But after the performance there was some next shady ladyy handing out C-Rae posters and paper merch and taking photos of us on her samsung phone ???? Suspichous but so exhausted by 9am so returned to hotel to sleep but then read the stuff and they were ads for meet and greets!!!!!!!! So there was this special CRJ exclusive acoustic performance with subsequent meet and greet at this v tenebrous retro kind of music store in Brooklyn; I checked on le twitter x and they said if we buy her album we'd be given a wristband thing to watch her & meet so that afternoon we took the tube to Brooklyn to find the store and bought Emotion and I got a pretty purple wristband 

Also don't be fooled by Lana she may love Brooklyn but it actually looks so pov no offence 

I asked Deep if he wanted to hmu at the Brooklyn Bridge but he was ill so I never saw him :( however we were messaging throughout the wee and it was nice that I got to speak to him again 

Day 5 (Saturday 22nd): So we got to the store at like before 10am and queued for about an hour bc performance was at 11:15 and there was this v pretty guy called Ben who looked about 20 and all his hairs were compressed into a bun so my dad asked him how long his hairs are and he took it out to show us!! This was so kind bc he'd got this perfect sphere of tenebrosity and probably sacrificed at least a strand from his down falling mane upon releasing but upon doing so he was like a ebony lion crashing and falling but never faltering amidst the capricious waves. He was with this asian person who must have been saskia's sister lol but with lavender hair ends and then this other asian person who was friends with them came and she was literally crying with excitement but even though she looked so young and alive I felt a tired sense of exhaustion and she even had carly's bob lol also they were playing emotion whilst we awaited and the latter person asked me what my fav song from it was but I only knew I really like you and run away with me so I was like 'I really like you' and she said hers was 'making the most of the night' as I presented to recognise 

I was so scared about meeting her bc didn't know what to say or how to get a selfie or signature but then they had it sorted bc pre-signed album covers and profesh photographers WHO WAIT UNTIL YOU BLINK TO SNAP NICE REAL REAL NICE I ACTUALLY RLLY RLLY LIKE YOU 1213

I was so scared but I reread the advice from the georgerai until they scarred the surface of my skull as a perpetual moonbeam emblazons its milky grey (carly) ray amid the decadent night creating a spindrift of teal as I walked into the theatre part and I thought of Mrs darker and whatever became of her soul

So it was quite a small performance and I was scared bc on my own but the ppl ben was with called me over which was kind but then my dad the actual slyyyy dog managed to sneak in even though he didn't have a wristband!! and still probably doesn't even know her name lol

Anyway C Rae was so cute and funny on the stage I was so close bc there probs weren't even like 100 people there bc idek why she was in this next bmt part of brooklyn lol. So first she sang I Really Like You, then Your Type, and finished with Run away with me. I hadn't heard your type but prior to performing it she sang she provided a humorous contextual insight into the song's poignant derivation: 

"okay so there was this guy I dated, well in my head, at least thats the same thing to me haha and, well you know how some girls have, like, a type??? Well so did this guy. Aaaand... it wasn't girls."

Lol I feel so bad for laughing now bc if there's one form of pain that has calloused my soul to the point of near immunisation, it's unrequited love the insatiable bitch ffs you heteros are so lucky but it was so beautiful I could feel myself reverse photosynthesising like a happy anti-plant in the shadow of the audience as I felt myself 

fall darker

into the abyss of mrs darker's soul

screaming 

"yello w f i v e d an ie l" 

stuck on an eternal loop, sometimes gaining a sudden unexpected velocity, only when least expected, sometimes growing so faint all that remained were the vibrations through the air and the clicking against my tentative eardrums refusing to lose it

Cus bby

take me 

to the 

feeling 

I'll be 

your sinner

in secret 

Omg I love run away with me 

but its when its at its faintest you feel closest

until you finally think you've caught it

and you reach for it but your soul just collapses in on itself like a remorseless black hole and you end up exactly back where you were, and where you are and maybe where you always will be, but everything is forever distorted like a dream where you know where you are but everything looks so different

this is what it feels like 

Thereafter, we left to queue for the meet and greet and Id been scripting mine and c rae's discourse but it was all in vain; when it was my turn she was like 'how are you????' smiling so much with one arm open for a half hug but my surreptitious audacity overpowered me as I went straight in for the full MULTIPLE ARM hug!!! and then I realised probably why bc she's literally so small I was berely even holding onto anything lol but my mind was literally recalibrated and I can't even remember what happened so here is a transcription of what I think most probably happened:

C Rae: [with calm vivacity] how are you (.) thank you for coming !!

Rafadood: [speechless] gdthankyouhow are yuo!!!!!!!!  

C Rae: good thank you !!!!

Rafadod: thank yu1!!!!!!!!

Nice camera lady: *takes photo*

Satan: woah ok his eyes are open ???? what is this ok this camera lady's soul is long overdue some irrevocable corruption

Malevolent camera lady: *waits until I blink to take photo* ok 

Rafapoodl: tytytytytytytyytytytytyytttyl

Im gonna be honest with you i don't know what vivacity means but I had the audacity to deploy it so release me ok 

then we were given a signature and told the  photos would be on Facebook within 24 hours ??? ok you don't know bathos until you wait THREE DAYS for this

Nice when everything that could possibly go wrong goes wrong :))))) 

Carly Rae Jepson??? More like Carly BAE Jepson 😍😍😍 ayyyyy lmao but seriously she's actually the cutest female person I've ever seen like in the world seriously 

But if you're reading this then you probably do Im sorry 

Then we took a boat back to manhattan and bc Im on 3 we had internet everywhere so idk where all this audacity derived from but I saw Elliott had tweeted 'netflix suggestions pls' so I thought ok I literally haven't replied to a tweet spontaneously and theres times I've wanted to but after spending 20 minutes debating someone else does it and has the conversation I could have had so Im just gonna do it so I typed 'unbreakable kimmy shmidt' (legit the funniest show since friends) and I was scared bc phone didn't notify but I found I received two replies from him and i was the one to press the final conclusive favourite so I was a happy poodle doodle 

Once we returned to manhattan we took a stroll down wall street and I felt like such a g lol hows the roaring 20s lads yeah how surreptitious was that crash ygm 

Then we went to the world trade centre // 9/11 memorial and the museum was actually so so so soso so sad there was this room thing which should have been called 'the crying cube' bc it was looping details of all the people who died and exemplifying through quotations from their parents and it was just the saddest thing bc outside there were pictures of everyone who died and it was just so so morose told my dad I had an eyelash bc tears were just soaring down my face like a skydiving pyromaniac why is he a pyromaniac you ask well u wud no x also they had one of the killer doors u no the 1 where it spins and u either sustain with the momentum or die so I thought Id take a photograph to satirise but then just as Id taken a security guy just came up to me and said: 'seriously?????????'

bc literally ONE CENTIMETER next to where this photo ends there was a sign saying 'no pictures pls'

isn't it weird to think how different this photo could have been bc theirs literally an entire world to the left to the left  

YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME 

I can have another you by tomorrow 

so don't you ever for a second get to thinqing

u irreplacable x 

but yeah do you realise theres an entire new york to the left and right and ceiling and floor of this photo but I chose to capture this malicious mundanity

so what makes you think you're so special 

After stopping off at grand central station we concluded the eve atop the empire state building 

 

WTC or the shard?? You decide xx