SIX THINGS I LEARNT IN FRANCE
HELLO so 2020 is the year I finally read all the books, fall in love and travel the world !! The only issue is, I have about 0 concentration, Im a bit of a homewrecker and omfg did I mention I think I'm a cat person now (but ofc I still love my doggos more than anything)
I spent the week visiting my beautiful blonde goblin of a friend serena and boy did I learn a lot about french society and culture in the moments we weren't hungover or watching the Witcher and having pillow fights
French guys are CREEPY
In the UK, a blonde haired girl and her genderqueer asian friend are just a harmless duo living our lives, but in france? Damn, are we the magnetic spectacle for creeps. There wasn't a street we walked after dusk in which a creepy guy wouldn't be on the prowl trying to chat us up, and so many times id be sitting on a tram to find some guy just look me up and down repeatedly. Yes, we get it, we're so hot and transgressive it confuses you but gosh damn it respect the artwork pls
Its only a matter of time before you become One of Them
When I said goodbye to my friend serena six months ago before each of us embarked on our year abroad adventure, she was just a typical southerner. A few months in the south of France and what happens? She's out there sipping her vin blanc, cigarette in one hand, baguette in the other, and I know the second I said goodbye she probably whipped out her beret and put on some Claude Debussy or Celine Dione. You don't step foot in france and leave the same person you were. That place consumes you. You will become one of them.
Club Culture is Something Else
Idk if its just me but I got recognised by the lads I sat next to on the flight who, turns out, were on their stag do and my friend decided to GRIND ON THE STAG !! of all the boys gosh damn it naomi why. Although she did try to chase down the guys who stole my phone, sadly to no avail. Also the smoking area is basically just an indoor nicotine chamber and the bartenders are just as drunk as all of us. One of them decided to caress the lengths of my braids, smooth her thumb over my lips and push an ice cube into my mouth. I wouldn't have minded but i am not a spitter, I was not fully sober and I had to speak french words with a v numb mouth so that was a Challenge
The Doggos are Evil
Every Cat I encountered there? absolute darling. happy to be scritched, very floof. The doggos ?? Idk what they do to them but boy they've gotta be fed with something no doggo should touch because I went to go and pet one on the streets as I do, and he HOWLs at me and begins to back away so I say no worries and go to his brother but. He prances onto me and starts chomping away at my forearm, digging deeper with each bite and it went from playfully innocent to downright cannibalistic. Doggo tryna eat another doggo ,, not cool france, not cool. Look after your doggos please, they don't deserve whatever fate you've given them that has turned them into these nebulous demons of what they could have been.
Technology Sucks
I had my phone stolen on the second night I was there, leaving me dependent on nothing but myself, serena the senses through which I experience the world and not this black fucking mirror and honestly, I wasn't even mad it was gone. I'd backed up my photos, and that was all I cared about. Plus, I was addicted to that stupid thing. I couldn't sleep at night because of all the Good Memes That I Have to See and all the Buzzed quizzes to find out what type of potato I was and through a week of it being gone, I slept better than ever. Maybe that was also because of all the soporific wine we drank and wretched exercise serena forced me to join her with (which I lowkey loved), but maybe it was also because I actually lived life through my own eyes during the day and
Serena and I are gonna make Great housemates next year
i was so scared she wasn't gonna wanna live with me after putting up with me for a week but she literally said to me, fey you wake up at 2pm every single day and you're so fucking chill,, its gonna be great. Also she sleeptalks to me which is nice of her subconscious tbh.
ily serena <333
I spent the week visiting my beautiful blonde goblin of a friend serena and boy did I learn a lot about french society and culture in the moments we weren't hungover or watching the Witcher and having pillow fights
French guys are CREEPY
In the UK, a blonde haired girl and her genderqueer asian friend are just a harmless duo living our lives, but in france? Damn, are we the magnetic spectacle for creeps. There wasn't a street we walked after dusk in which a creepy guy wouldn't be on the prowl trying to chat us up, and so many times id be sitting on a tram to find some guy just look me up and down repeatedly. Yes, we get it, we're so hot and transgressive it confuses you but gosh damn it respect the artwork pls
Its only a matter of time before you become One of Them
Club Culture is Something Else
Idk if its just me but I got recognised by the lads I sat next to on the flight who, turns out, were on their stag do and my friend decided to GRIND ON THE STAG !! of all the boys gosh damn it naomi why. Although she did try to chase down the guys who stole my phone, sadly to no avail. Also the smoking area is basically just an indoor nicotine chamber and the bartenders are just as drunk as all of us. One of them decided to caress the lengths of my braids, smooth her thumb over my lips and push an ice cube into my mouth. I wouldn't have minded but i am not a spitter, I was not fully sober and I had to speak french words with a v numb mouth so that was a Challenge
The Doggos are Evil
Every Cat I encountered there? absolute darling. happy to be scritched, very floof. The doggos ?? Idk what they do to them but boy they've gotta be fed with something no doggo should touch because I went to go and pet one on the streets as I do, and he HOWLs at me and begins to back away so I say no worries and go to his brother but. He prances onto me and starts chomping away at my forearm, digging deeper with each bite and it went from playfully innocent to downright cannibalistic. Doggo tryna eat another doggo ,, not cool france, not cool. Look after your doggos please, they don't deserve whatever fate you've given them that has turned them into these nebulous demons of what they could have been.
Technology Sucks
I had my phone stolen on the second night I was there, leaving me dependent on nothing but myself, serena the senses through which I experience the world and not this black fucking mirror and honestly, I wasn't even mad it was gone. I'd backed up my photos, and that was all I cared about. Plus, I was addicted to that stupid thing. I couldn't sleep at night because of all the Good Memes That I Have to See and all the Buzzed quizzes to find out what type of potato I was and through a week of it being gone, I slept better than ever. Maybe that was also because of all the soporific wine we drank and wretched exercise serena forced me to join her with (which I lowkey loved), but maybe it was also because I actually lived life through my own eyes during the day and
Serena and I are gonna make Great housemates next year
i was so scared she wasn't gonna wanna live with me after putting up with me for a week but she literally said to me, fey you wake up at 2pm every single day and you're so fucking chill,, its gonna be great. Also she sleeptalks to me which is nice of her subconscious tbh.
ily serena <333
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