Visions of Hell

so last night i had the most terrifying dream that i ventured to the underworld and it was everything that the classical epicists and AHS had warned me of and more

The entrance to hell was a series of cavernous openings; each decent became steamier and more difficult to travel through and i don’t know whether it was a psychogenic block from knowing i was entering the realms of flames and damnation or a physical difficulty bc it was a steep and scary decent

eventually i reached the nether reigions and oh my god let me tell you something honeys navigating the underworld is not easy

you literally have to balance yourself on a tightrope whilst being accosted by infernal bees repeatedly stinging your ears and avoid falling into the flamepools of molten lava beneath you

also when you’re in hell youre surrounded by free from foods that are blocking your path but you’re also vexed with gastrointestinal turmoil so it’s not fun when you’re there trying not to fall off the string that suspends you whilst your stomache is cramping like a bitch

where’s satan you might ask ?? well guess what bitches you wanna go to hell do you ?? prepare to not even get to meet the king of devils himself !! idk if i’m being demanding but you’d think if you’re gonna be consigned to an eternity of physical and psychological torture you’d at least get to meet the kingpin in charge 

but no instead you must play your part in this infernal orchestra whilst the conductor reigns supreme in his hellthrone watching over you

another fun aspect of hell is that, in the background, there is the perpetual drone of anti-vegan hell-dwellers who are suffering equally with gastric distress

i guess milton got one detail wrong lmao hell is not full of sulphurous flame but methanous mist lol i hate myself 
(if you’re interested in satan and hell i would recommend Paradise Lost, it’s a v long epic poem that gives satan’s version of events regarding the adam and eve story)

once you’ve passed the firey landmass you’re submerged into the waters of hell, and this isn’t your ordinary everyday liquid water 

this stuff is advanced hydrations 

basically there’s a lot more viscosity to fluids in hell but you’re pushed along the current just as fast as in earthly seas with the addition of a thousand screaming souls also joining you 

Hell’s rivers kind of have the feel of aloe vera ooze but instead of being rejuvenating it burns, oh it burns like the fires of a supernova in its end days (it doesn’t im just being dramatic)

as the current forks, the unlucky ones are forced into what the demons described only as a process of digestion and regurgitation within the inside of an aquatic hell beast but thankfully i stayed in the current of chaos 

i don’t remember what was next but i do recall having a chance to escape !!

but exiting the underworld is no walk in the park my earthly readers 

you need card access:

you need 

an oyster card.

BUT 

mine was out of credit so i ran and was chased by about 10 deamons but i hid in a rusty abandoned toilet cubicle and eventually they got bored and I escaped to a theatre in which another dream took place 

I hope you enjoyed this journey to the underworld 

see you all in hell !! it’s gonna b a fun ride y’all

—— 
quote of the blog
‘Better to reign in hell 
than serve in heaven’
(John Milton, Paradise Lost) 

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